Category Archives: silicone

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Review – Lelo Hula Beads

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I think I might be fundamentally missing the point of the Hula Beads.

I’ve never been one for ‘love eggs’. It’s such a married-with-2-kids-and-a-silver-car thing – ‘hubby controlled this egg while we were in Tesco! it was such a turn on! lol!’ and all the ones I’ve experienced so far have been noisy and ugly. The Hula Beads are neither of these things, but they still didn’t work out for me. I’m starting think that I should stick to Lelo’s regular line in future, because me and this Insignia line just aren’t getting along like we’re supposed to.

Even though purple’s my least favourite colour, I’ve got to admit that the Hula Beads are ridiculously gorgeous. I have the deep rose set, and it’s a vampy, rich fuchsia offset by gold accents. I’m a total sucker for Lelo’s silicone; satin-smooth, it feels almost velvety, barely picks up dust, and covers the rigid inner workings with a silky, waterproof shell. They feel reassuringly sleek and weighty, but are let down a little by the highlights, which are disappointingly just gold-painted plastic. C’mon, Lelo – surely the £120 price tag warrants actual metal and not spraypainted ABS?

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Review – Nomi Tang Better Than Chocolate v2

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If the Nomi Tang Better Than Chocolate (version 2!) were a girl she’d wear bandage dresses and a lot of Kurt Geiger and have a city boyfriend. She’d have caramel hair, smell like vanilla and Miss Dior, make an effort to drink three litres of water a day and her favourite Naked palette would be the third one. She’d probably have a tattoo of an ampersand or a feather on her inner wrist. Someone well-adjusted and sleek and pretty and smart, someone that I can’t fault because the only things I don’t like are just up to personal preference.

The btc2’s shaped to fit against the human body, almost like a sleeker version of the Layaspot, and made from a buttery smooth pink or plum silicone. There’s a faint seam running around the sides, but I can only feel it with my thumb, and there’s a little tiny hole in the backside where you push in your charging jack. It’s USB rechargeable, waterproof up to a metre, and it also comes in cute packaging, for those of you who are into that. The manual actually asks to ‘please reuse the decorative box by storing nice things inside’. Aww.

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Review – Fun Factory Pearly deluxe mini vibe

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The Pearly (doesn’t it sound like a missing Pink Lady?) is part of Fun Factory’s line of mini vibes – fairly self explanatory, they’re a range of nine vibrators of diminutive shape and stature that happen to be ‘perfect for your handbag’. Y’know. Just in case you need a wank on your lunch break. This one happens to be a rabbit style, comes in two delicious colours: candy green* and grape, is rechargeable via a USB click-n-charge system, fully submersible and has a TRAVEL LOCK. Great, right?

Fun Factory’s controls are definitely my preferred kind – clacky buttons! A dedicated on/off button! Tons of functions! TRAVEL LOCK! Like, I’m not even a pattern person, I usually skip right through, but these are a little bit more imaginative than your average pulse-pulse-pulse, even featuring something called a ‘razzle dazzle’ sequence that feels exactly like it sounds – like a team of tiny jazz dancers tip-tapping their way around my vag in the best way possible. Never change, Fun Factory.

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Review – the Fun Factory Boosty

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I’m a big fan of Fun Factory; their silicone can feel draggy and almost powdery at times, but I have to admire the company who came up with Flexi Felix, the caterpillar who feels most at home in your anal cavity, and who consistently make body-safe products in eye-searing shades of orange, blue, red, and green in addition to the industry standards of cerise, purple or baby pink. The Boosty’s the first butt toy I’ve tried from them – I’ve been told that the Bootie is the original, and the one I should’ve tried out first, but it sold out before I could get to it.

The Boosty is available in a choice of aquarium pebble turquoise and petrol black, and comes in sturdy, non-gendered packaging with a drawing of a butt on. The Boosty is the most girthy plug I currently own, with three irregularly stacked bulbs of slightly different circumferences; the top bulb measures just under 4 inches around, the middle being the thickest with exactly 5 inches of girth, and the bottom bulb measuring just under 5 inches. The stem thins out considerably to 1.5 inches of both girth and length, with the base being 3.5 inches long. The base-to-neck ratio is perfect, actually, it ensures that the whole things stays put and feels completely secure, no matter how overenthusiastic (there’s no such thing! use all the lube! all of it! squeeze that bottle until it squeaks!) you may have been with your lube application.

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kink queen of my world reviews silicone tantus

Tantus Pelt silicone paddle review

peltThe Pelt paddle is gorgeous. A smooth curve of charcoal silicone, it looks unassuming but packs a punch that’s unlike anything I’ve felt before. It’s in a league of it’s own, that’s for sure.

The Pelt paddle – made and designed by all-American brand Tantus – is made from a silky smooth matte black silicone that attracts little bits of fluff like nothing else, but I find it easier to clean than my shinier, grippier silicone toys; a lot of the time I just spray this with Lelo cleaner and wipe it down – and you can bleach it, boil it, and stick it in the dishwasher. It’s basically indestructible – I’ve even bitten it a few times (don’t look at me like that) and didn’t leave any dents behind.

It measures just under twelve inches long, six inches of that being the handle, with a little hole at the very end which you can use to loop a ribbon or a nylon string through and keep it hung up with, or I guess you could loop something through it to use as one of those secure wrist loops. Does anyone actually use those things? 

I’m not very well versed in ~kinky terminology~ and I’m not in any kind of scene, all I know is I really love impact play, being bruised, and being hit. I started out with wooden hairbrushes and eventually graduated up through various leather and suede paddles, I’ve had some brief experiences with crops and floggers – crops are pretty fun, I haven’t found a flogger I’ve liked yet, never tried a bullwhip but I want to – but wooden oval paddles (and hands) have always been my favourite. The Pelt pretty much blows everything I just listed out of the water.

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